How to Support Grieving Parents During the Holidays, by Intermountain Primary Children’s Hospital

The grief of losing a child is overwhelming, but there is support available.

Intermountain Primary Children's Hospital’s Bereavement Program offers support and education to families after the death of their child. But sometimes, friends, neighbors, and co-workers can be the best support to grieving parents, siblings and family members.

“Losing a child, whether to a long-term illness or to a traumatic situation, is the worst thing that can happen to a parent. Nothing can prepare you, regardless of how much time or notice you are given,” said Alyssa Damron, a licensed clinical social worker at Intermountain Primary Children’s Hospital.

“Primary Children’s Hospital offers many supports to patient families when the child has been a patient,” Damron added. “But friends and neighbors can be an incredible support to families just by checking in, sharing memories, and listening.”

Primary Children’s offers resources to patient families who are losing or have lost a child, from a social worker to help navigate funeral plans or notifying family members, to child life specialists spending time with siblings and helping families make special keepsakes, like hand or footprints, for art or jewelry.

Families also can receive help in processing grief, including education about what grief looks like, how to make it through certain milestones, and how everyone copes differently. A bereavement coordinator also provides ongoing resources, including summer camps for siblings and support groups.

“The biggest thing is to remember that the grief never goes away. The grief and pain may change over time, but a parent or family member is never "over it,” Damron said. “It’s important for people to continue to talk about their loved ones, the memories you and others had with them to continue to process through feelings.”

Here are some things people can do to support grieving families:

• Mention the child’s name.
• Talk about the loved one and the memories you had with them.
• Keep their memories alive in your hearts and your thoughts, and your conversations.
• Don't be afraid to be vulnerable with families, and be a safe place for them to continue to talk about it.

Grieving families seeking resources can call Primary Children’s Hospital bereavement at 801-662-3778, or visit the bereavement services page at primarychildrens.org.